What are “I statements”?

“I statements” are a communication technique that focuses on expressing how you feel or what you need, rather than blaming or attacking the other person. “I statements” typically follow this structure: “I feel [emotion] when [behavior or action], and I need [request or solution].” For example, “I feel frustrated when emails are not responded to promptly, and I need a clear timeline for responses.”

How can “I statements” improve communication in the workplace?

Encourage empathy and understanding: When you use “I statements,” you express your own feelings and needs. This approach encourages your colleagues to put themselves in your shoes and understand your perspective. As a result, they may be more likely to empathize with you and be willing to work with you to find a solution.
Reduce defensiveness: Blaming and attacking language can make the other person feel defensive and less open to hearing your point of view. By using “I statements,” you avoid placing blame and instead focus on how you are feeling and what you need. This approach can reduce defensiveness and promote a more constructive conversation.
Resolve conflicts: When conflicts arise in the workplace, “I statements” can be a powerful tool to resolve them. By expressing your feelings and needs in a non-confrontational way, you can work with your colleagues to find a solution that works for everyone.
Promote a positive work environment: “I statements” can help create a positive work environment by fostering open and respectful communication. When colleagues feel heard and understood, they are more likely to feel positive about their work and their interactions with their colleagues.

How to use “I statements” effectively in the workplace?

Start with a positive tone: Begin your statement with a positive tone to set the stage for a constructive conversation. For example, “I appreciate your hard work on this project, and I would like to discuss some concerns I have.”
Be specific: Be specific about the behavior or action that is causing you to feel a certain way. This helps your colleagues understand exactly what you are referring to and can help avoid misunderstandings. For example, “I feel overwhelmed when I receive multiple emails on the same topic, and I need a clear email thread to keep track of the conversation.”
Avoid blame: Avoid blaming language, which can make the other person feel defensive. Focus on your own feelings and needs, rather than what the other person is doing wrong. For example, “I feel disrespected when I’m interrupted during meetings, and I need to be able to finish my thoughts before being interrupted.”
End with a solution: End your statement with a request or solution to move the conversation forward. This helps your colleagues understand what you need from them and can help avoid a back-and-forth conversation that goes nowhere. For example, “I feel frustrated when I don’t receive timely responses to my emails, and I need a clear timeline for responses. Can we discuss how we can improve our email communication?”

“I statements” can be a powerful tool in the workplace to improve communication with colleagues, resolve conflicts, and promote a more positive and productive work environment. By focusing on your own feelings and needs and avoiding blaming language, you can encourage empathy and understanding, reduce defensiveness, and work with your colleagues to find a solution that works for everyone. Remember to start with a positive tone, be specific, avoid blame, and end with a solution. By using “I statements” effectively, you can improve communication in the workplace and build stronger relationships with your colleagues.